Some nights I can't sleep and I lay awake for hours. Sometimes I think about how content I am, how things somehow seem to work themselves out, where my life is going at this point. Sometimes I cry, biting my lip to keep myself from sobbing aloud, fists balled, world spinning. I wonder who I would be if things had been different, if I'd had different friends, if I'd had more typical "high school" experience, if I'd done things differently. And I wonder who I am, what my future is, what the hell I am doing. I feel like my life is on a myriad of paths and I am standing on the outside, looking in, and unable to do anything. Who is going to choose what is going to happen? Will it be me or will it be someone pretending to be me? When am I going to start feeling like I'm actually living and not just playing out what I think I'm supposed to be?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sigh/and my breath is warm/against the frozen night sky
My fingertips tingle/and I long to reach out/and stroke your face
But you disappear/in a wisp of smoke/like you never really existed
And I cry/not because you're gone/but because I am.
1 comment:
xoxo
Post a Comment